


Mission Accomplished

by sunriseandsunshine



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-07-25 22:00:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20033020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunriseandsunshine/pseuds/sunriseandsunshine
Summary: “It’s a good idea, Ryan. We have a lot on the line this season, even if we keep the show they could make major cuts to our budget. This whole sleeping there idea could actually bring in viewers.”“Just us sleeping there could do that?”“Just you guys finally sleeping together would do that,” TJ said.Unsolved is close to cancellation, Shane and Ryan agree to fake date to bring up ratings. Although, they might just get more than they expected out of this deal.





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> ahhhhh a fake dating AU i know! im sorry im a slut for these so sorry not sorry. 
> 
> ill try not to make this super cliche or anything.

Ryan isn’t sure when the obsession started. Sometime in early sixth grade perhaps. Staying up late watching true crime documentaries at sleepovers. Taking pride in being "man enough,” to not get scared by the gruesome crimes described by these movies. Scared, he was. Not by the words used to describe the serial killer’s method of choice, rather his fascination with it. He could spend hours reading about cases. While his peers were playing video games or kicking around a soccer ball.

The start of his freshman year he met Shane. He was tall for a fourteen year old, with a sense of humor similar to Ryan’s. The pair didn’t hit it off initially; it took until the middle of sophomore year for them to transition from casual acquaintances to the best of friends. Their bond became unbreakable, and still is.

The two shared a love of true crime and supernatural occurrences. Shane: a skeptic, Ryan: a believer. As they filmed YouTube videos in Shane’s basement, the two debated the reliability of evidence Ryan would present. 

It had started as a simple school project, soon blossoming into a popular show. Their parents knew, and Shane’s mom had even helped to furnish the makeshift studio. The channel had been gaining subscribers for two years. It showed no signs of stopping before graduation either.

Ryan opened his letter from UCLA at the same time Shane did. They were both accepted.

The show went on, and was now even more successful. Companies began sponsoring videos. Adsense was great. The subscriber count was close to one million. This small school project had morphed into this uber successful show. It was proving to be a large portion of their income. Driven by Ryan’s love of researching them. Shane's love of hearing them. And their shared fascination with these cases.

It was their senior year at UCLA, when Unsolved was at its peak, Buzzfeed contacted them. The company was willing to have them as paid interns until they graduated. They were prepared to offer them jobs. Ryan sprinted to Shane’s room, “Shane! Shane!” 

“What do you want, little guy?” 

“Buzzfeed. Email. Here.” He pushed the laptop into Shane’s hands. \

Shane, having just woken up, read it slow and through blurry vision. He impatiently tapped his foot as he read, going to the living room to sit. Shane followed suit. “This is incredible, Ry!” 

The hug he received from Shane caught him off guard. It took him a second to hold on to him as tight. “We did it, big guy.” 

He couldn’t picture his life not at Buzzfeed. He was finally filming Unsolved in a professional studio. They had a budget and the freedom to start doing supernatural investigations. Shane had the genius idea to split it into two, supernatural and true crime. They even had a crew. 

It was their dream come true. They had worked so hard towards this. Sacrificed a good night’s sleep on several occasions. Missed out on parties and even a couple dates. This was proof it was worth it. 

Three years had passed since they had first gotten hired. Their show had a devoted fanbase that did nothing but support them. Sending in questions for the new sideshow, Postmortem, where they answered said questions. And buying the merchandise that the pair worked hard to help design. 

They were set to begin filming the new supernatural season this week and Ryan was even more of a ball of anxiety. The pressure on them had increased after a meeting with their superiors. If the show didn’t perform well this season it could mean the end of it. 

Ryan and Shane decided to do the episode at the Winchester house. It was a throwback to the first season of supernatural: their first year under Buzzfeed’s jurisdiction. They had went to three locations. One of them being the haunted home of Sarah Winchester. 

Shane had suggested sleeping there this time, to spice it up, to Ryan’s dismay. “Shane! No!” 

Devon shook her head. “It’s a good idea, Ryan. We have a lot on the line this season, even if we keep the show they could make major cuts to our budget. This whole sleeping there idea could actually bring in viewers.”

“Us sleeping there could do that?” 

“You guys finally sleeping together would do that,” TJ said. 

The three turned to stare at him. “What? Tell me I’m wrong. Your weird fans would definitely be all over that, it might even get new people to join.” 

“Gross,” Ryan murmured. 

“He’s right,” Shane started. “Look I’m not saying we have to kiss on camera or anything too, yknow, but if we shared a bed and make our jokes a bit more flirty. Post on social media, those weirdos will go wild.” 

“I agree with them. This could save the show from cancellation and budget cuts. You know it can.” 

Ryan didn’t want to admit it but he knew they were all right. The only issue was his teeny tiny, little crush on Shane. About a year ago he had started having these not-so-friendly feelings about him. He figured that keeping his distance and refraining from too much bantering would be the way to go. But this. This was forcing him to throw it out the window. Completely. He wanted to so, so bad but there was this small part of his brain saying he’d regret it. Shane’s acting would be misconstrued as him being sincere and that would be it. He’d ruin his friendship and he'd put his show in jeopardy. But not doing it might be as bad. 

“Let’s do it.” 

“Alright, babe, I say we start by going out to lunch and posting identical pictures from it. Add a flirty caption and everything.” 

The nickname was enough to give him a heart attack. No. Don’t do that. “Where were you thinking for lunch, sweetie?” 

“That new place around the corner? Steven was telling me good things about it.” 

“You’re listening to Steven now?” Ryan questioned. 

Shane laughed. “He eats gold for a living, I trust his judgement when it comes to food.” 

He had a genius idea to walk there. It wasn’t far and it was rare they got to walk together. He was full of ideas today Ryan guessed. All things considered, he was having fun. The day was warm and comfortable, the sky filled with big puffy clouds. A nice contrast from the blue sky. 

“Don’t kill me for this but I think we should, um, hold hands and take a picture to post to one of our instagram stories.” 

Ryan didn’t answer right away. “Ok. We can do that, I guess.” 

He linked their fingers. Shane taking out his phone because his right hand was free and it was easier to use right handed. He took a boomerang of their shoes and their interlocked fingers, so people knew it was a guy. 

As soon as he took the picture, Ryan didn’t know what to do. Shane made no move to take his hand back, and neither did he. The restaurant was only a door away, it was the excuse he could take. But Shane opened the door. He walked right in, not even letting go of Shane’s surprising soft hands. 

The menu had a lot of good-sounding items to choose from. He leaned into Shane. “What are you thinking of getting?” 

“The grilled chicken Caesar salad sounds good. You?” 

Ryan studied the menu once more. “It all looks good. I’ll get that, too.” 

“Original.” 

“It will be when I order first.” 

Shane faked a hurt expression. “You wouldn’t dare.” 

“Oh but I will. Watch me.” He stepped up to the counter. “Hello sir, I’ll take your, hmm, grilled chicken Caesar salad with a lemonade.” 

“I’ll get the same.” Shane gave Ryan a dirty look, with no mean intent behind it. 

He learned he should trust Steven more when it comes to food. The salad was better than anything he had had in weeks. Since the last time he went to visit his parents he would guess. 

Shane got his phone out and instructed Ryan to give him a loving look. He rolled his eyes. He looked into Shane’s eyes, giving him a smile. He couldn’t resist making a joke that had Ryan giving a genuine smile, one that could light up a room. 

“Your turn, big guy.” 

“Wait, how did you know it was big?” 

Ryan was in stitches again. “Shut up, Shane. Let’s do this.” 

“Title of your sex tape?” 

“Why would be having sex with a guy named Shane?” 

“For the channel,” Shane joked. 

He gave him a look. “They wish.” 

“More like you wish.” 

The lunch wasn’t anything special. Nothing different from their usual lunches or after work hangouts. The only difference was the posts. They spent the rest of it coming up with flirty captions. Ryan’s favorites were: Lunch with my fav ‘Squatch, Never a dull moment with you, No place I would rather be than at lunch with this giant ;). 

After careful consideration, he chose the last one. Shane said it had the perfect amount of “cheesy relationship shit,” and “Ryan shit.” He’s still unsure if the last thing was a compliment or not. 

Most of the comments were from crazy fans all saying the same general thing of “They’re dating!!!! They’re dating!!!!” So, mission accomplished. 

He's screwed.


	2. Statement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He felt his face get warm. “Next question!”
> 
> “James Mckeen says: Are you guys dating?? The hand holding during the oujia board seance, the recent posts on instagram and the constant flirting is making me think u guys are finally a couple!!”
> 
> Ryan’s blush returned. “Uh, yeah, we are.” He grabbed Shane’s hand and held them up.
> 
> They shared genuine smiles in that moment before Ryan began ending the Postmortem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehehehehehehheehhe
> 
> also thank u to the commentors on my last chapter, luh u <3
> 
> i rewrote this chapter and completely fucked my whole planned out thingy i had written in my notebook bc fuck u past me i write what i want. soooooooooooo yh, enjoy!

The episode did amazing. Views and likes were amazing. Especially for a premiere episode. Audience engagement was at an all time high. He couldn’t remember another episode that had gotten that many comments. Both on the actual video and on the Instagram post for the Postmortem. Most were about their relationship and only a handful were about the actual episode.

That frustrated him. It seemed like his audience was only invested in that part of the show. The ghosts and murder meerely an afterthought. Ryan had worked so hard to get here. To get his show this big, with a professional studio and crew. This felt like a slap in the face.

Shane, on the other hand , seemed ecstatic. “What’s got you so happy?”

“Our video man! I mean, when have we ever had the first episode do this good?”

“First time, I’m sure,” Ryan’s smile had faded.

Shane frowned. “What’s going on with you, man? Unsolved is like your weird little ghost-murder baby. Thought you’d be more excited about this.”

“I don’t know,” He rubbed his temples. “It feels like people don’t like the show for the hard work I put into it, you know? I put all this research and time and effort into making the video and all people seem to care about is us.”

“We are the stars of the show. That’s--” Ryan interrupted.

“No, dude, like our ‘relationship.’”

Shane nodded in realization. “Oh, yeah. Um, I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault.” Ryan gave him a small smile and returned to his work.

He was being dumb. His show was doing good. He should be grateful. But he was upset . Not only because of his dumb crush on Shane and their new “relationship,” but because of the audience’s interest in it .

Why were they so invested in the first place? Sure, he and Shane bantered well and some could perceive it as flirting but they were good friends. That’s what friends do. They’re entertainers. This is a show. A show he worked too hard on to get upset at its success.

He went back to scrolling comments and pulling out some for the Postmortem. He searched everywhere for comments about the Winchester mansion, or the tale of Sarah Winchester . He found two. He accepted defeat and screen shotted a couple comments about the “relationship.”

Shane tapped on his shoulder. “Let’s go, baby.”

“We aren’t filming you don’t have to call me that.” Ryan muttered.

Shane smirked. “Trying to get into character.”

They went through the motions. Repeating the same lines they always did at the start of the Postmortem. He let Shane ask the first question. It was easy. The same banter but with a new element of intentional flirting.

“This question comes from alyxpalawaski: 'how different did it feel sleeping in different rooms?'" . Shane smirked as he answered, “I like putting him in these scary situations. That’s my goal this season.”

“Yeah, I mean, at one point we both screamed each other’s names,” Ryan said.

“They were so far apart!”

Ryan looked over at Shane. “You are a defense mechanism. You bring me a level of comfort. Whether it’s keeping you awake and annoying you or being able to feel your presence. It brings me back to reality. But when I was alone, I didn’t feel that safety that I do when you’re with me.”

“I got more sleep but, I kind of missed it. The little taps all through the night. Your whispering how scared you are of the surrounding demons and ghouls.” He kissed Ryan on the cheek.

He felt his face get warm. “Next question!”

“James Mckeen says: Are you guys dating?? The hand holding during the oujia board seance, the recent posts on instagram and the constant flirting is making me think u guys are finally a couple !!”

Ryan’s blush returned. “Uh, yeah, we are.” He grabbed Shane’s hand and held them up.

They shared genuine smiles in that moment before Ryan began ending the Postmortem. Shane pulled out a piece of paper that he had written up earlier today. “Now for a statement,”

“Don’t call it a statement, that gives too much importance,” He glanced at the paper. “Does that really say ‘From the desk of Shane Madej?’”

Shane shook his head. “Don’t worry your pretty little brain over it. Go plan how you’re going to break up with me after I say all this.”

“Will do, babe.”

Shane went on reading his paper about Gene, who is french fries, death. Ryan shuttered to himself after calling him by the character’s dumb full name. He didn’t enjoy listening to the Hot Daga, or anything about it. He did enjoy Shane’s excitement about it, though. He had always gotten so into the writing and the planning of it. He rarely saw that in Shane. His eyes seemed to twinkle almost. It made him look good. Younger. It reminded him of how he looked all those years ago when they had opened their acceptance letters to UCLA. Full of hope and happiness.

Shane had invited him over for a celebratory dinner. They had earned it. And it had been too long since they had hung out. When he broke up with Sara he rarely wanted any company, that had been six months ago. They hadn’t hung out in seven.

Sara and Ryan got along great. But it wasn’t the same with her there. Shane had changed so much since they got together, his humor was always more refined and less Shane. His humor returned. His smile started to reach his eyes again. His Shane was back.

He had knocked on the door at seven. “Hey Ryan, right on time. Come in.”

The place was messier than it had been seven months ago. Video game cases out on the coffee table. Mail piled on the kitchen table. Blankets and pillows laid out on the couch. “Sorry for the mess, uh, didn’t have time to--”

“No, it’s fine. You should see my apartment. The only thing that’s organized is my shoes.”

“Mmmhm, I see nothing has changed since highschool.”

He walked into the kitchen. Ryan right behind him. “What are you making?”

“Fettuccine alfredo.”

“My favorite?”

Shane handed him a plate. “You worked hard, thought this was the least I could do. Sorry about, uh, kissing you today during the Postmortem.”

“No, no, it was fine,” He sputtered.

“You sure? You looked a bit,” He paused looking for the right word, “Flushed.” He giggled.

“Ha Ha. Laugh it up. You know that will make people love it even more.”

Shane sat down at the now sweeped off kitchen table. “Yeah, you’re right. Plus the answer to that sleeping question, they’ll eat it up.”

“Nice to hear you think very highly of our audience,” Ryan joked.

“I do think highly of them! Just the skeptics, though. Definitely not your weird little Boogara’s. ”

“Oh, shut it.”

They had talked all through dinner. Catching up about work, their love life, their families. He had missed this. It brought him back to nights in their apartment during college. Sitting on the beat up couch in the living room watching horror movies while drinking beer. Shane, picking it apart, and Ryan, in a corner of the couch with a blanket ready to put over his eyes. Shane had always made fun of him for it. But, like now, his presence had made him less scared. Brought him back to the real world without the scary villains in the movie.

Both finished their dinner. Ryan rinsed his place and put it into the dishwasher. Offering to do the same with Shane’s while he went to pick out a movie. Of course, he picked out a horror film. “I was thinking, trashy slasher flick meets Groundhog day?”

“Oh," He tapped a finger to his chin, "Happy Death Day?”

“Yeah, here.” He tossed him a blanket. “For old times sake.”

Ryan sat in the corner of the sectional. “A lot has changed since then. Not this though, so, thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. But, uh, I hate to ask this but do you think it would be a good idea to take a picture and post it to one of our stories?”

“Oh?”

Shane started to backpedal, “Sorry, sorry, um, nevermind.”

“No, no, it’s fine. It’s a good idea, actually. Come here.”

Shane sat next to Ryan. He put an arm over his shoulders like it was natural. Ryan took out his phone, and snapped a picture of their feet with the TV in the background and tagged @Shanemadej.

Once he took the picture he expected Shane to move over. Take his warmth to a different part of the couch and leaving him with the blanket for warmth. He didn’t.

He kept his arm around him. And focused on the movie. No mention of it. Of the closeness. Of the intimacy. Ryan could barely hear the movie or the pounding in his ears. A loud drum he was sure Shane could hear. His stomach was in knots. This crush on Shane was the worst. An arm around his shoulders shouldn’t be affecting him like this. It’s so middle school. So is this crush on his best friend.

Shane was being his friend. A friendly gesture. All meant to keep up a fake relationship that was only made up to ensure their show didn’t get cancelled. It shouldn’t be complicated . And to Shane it wasn’t, he was sure.

Shane was probably fine. He could do simple things like throw an arm around his shoulder or hold his hand and not feel his heart rate increase . A blush on his face. Even if he would look so good with a rosy tint on his face. It would be so hot. Especially if he was the one who caused it. Whether he caused it innocently or through other means was to be explored when he wasn’t in his presence.

The movie, from the little bits Ryan had been able to focus on, was decent. A lot better than he had expected. Shane had gotten up in the middle of the movie and made popcorn. Returning back to his spot next to Ryan, placing the bowl on his lap. He had to hold back a smile when an arm returned to his shoulder.

“I missed you, Ryan,” Shane spoke soft.

Ryan leaned into him. “I missed you, too.”

It was the first genuine feeling moment they had had in days. He could tell from the tone and volume of his voice he was unsure. Unsure if he should say it, unsure if it would make them things weird. It made him rethink if Shane was really as fine with the whole arrangement as he seemed.

He couldn’t help thinking his feelings weren’t exactly as one sided as he had thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for reading! again, if u enjoyed leave me a comment! also if u were the alyx guy uhhhh ur pretty cool. i took that exactly from that postmortem. basically using this fic as an excuse to rewatch bfu.


	3. Clueless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan got off the couch. “You want breakfast?”
> 
> “Depends on what you’re cooking.”
> 
> It feels so natural: waking up in Shane’s arms, cooking breakfast together, taking a shower knowing he’s in the kitchen waiting for him. It was familiar and easy. And most importantly, not helping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cleaned my whole ass room for five hours and that shit is s p a r k i l i n g hehe  
also enjoy!

His show was doing great. He was not. Ryan felt so torn between these two feelings. Trapped between being happy and excited for its success, and dealing with his crush on Shane. A juvenile crush that still hasn’t gone away. Instead blossoming into even deeper feelings. He blames this arrangement. 

It allowed him to get a taste of what a relationship with Shane Madej would be like. And he was hooked. He found himself wanting more and more. Ryan was at a crossroads, he could keep this thing going for the channel or stop it for his sanity. He’s leaning towards his sanity. 

He had no clue how to express this to Shane. Shane’s not going to accept some excuse and he isn’t ready to tell him how he feels. He’s not sure he ever will be. This is the right thing to do though, right? 

It had to be. His only other option was to suffer through until the end of the show. They got ratings up. Cancellation isn’t in the near future anymore. The end of Unsolved wasn’t close, and he can’t keep doing this. He loves being a couple with Shane. His body, his mind, his heart all love it. But it’s not real. It never was, it never will be. The longer he keeps lying to himself and falling for Shane, the harder it will be to end it. The harder it will be to face the next person Shane starts dating. The harder it will be to fall for anyone but him. 

He asked Shane to come over after work. It seemed like the best option. Make some dinner, play some video games, drink a little and then tell him. Tell him he can’t keep on pretending to be in a relationship. He could lie and say he met someone. But lying to Shane always felt wrong, besides Shane would see straight through him. He wasn’t ready to tell the truth, the full truth, but he could tell a half-truth. Give an excuse that, while true, isn’t the real reason. It was the best choice by far. 

They had begun hanging out again and tonight was no different. The only unusual thing was how fidgety Ryan was being. A step above his normal nervousness. Before Shane had even got there he had a beer. And drank two with dinner. He had gained some courage. But not enough. 

It was around midnight. Normally Shane or Ryan would leave and go back to their apartment but Ryan asked if Shane wanted to stay over. He regrets it as soon as he says it because Shane accepts and now he has to tell him and then wake up to him the next day. He does what any other sane person would. 

He doesn’t tell him. 

Ryan instead falls asleep on his couch, cuddled up next to Shane. He hears his alarm from his bedroom and realizes what happened. And where he is.

Shane has arm draped across his chest. It’s just heavy enough, and just warm enough for him to relax into. The added weight is more comforting than suffocating. He’s unwilling to cut this short. If it was up to Ryan, he would live in this moment for the rest of his time on Earth. 

Shane stirs awake and removes his arm, giving him a small nudge. “Ry, wake up.” 

“Hey,” He yawns, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep out here.” 

“It’s fine. Next time I’ll carry you to bed.” That image was staying in his brain.

Ryan got off the couch. “You want breakfast?” 

“Depends on what you’re cooking.” 

It feels so natural: waking up in Shane’s arms, cooking breakfast together, taking a shower knowing he’s in the kitchen waiting for him. It was familiar and easy. And most importantly, not helping. 

Ryan had to keep reminding himself they were only friends. Not boyfriends or friends with benefits, nothing but friends. It was eating away at him. “Shane, can we talk?” 

“About what, Ry?” Shane sat on the kitchen stool. 

“I don’t think that,” He tried to think of a way to phrase it. “I don’t know if we should keep doing the..fake dating thing.” 

Shane’s face fell. “What? Why? What?”

“We accomplished our goal. We’re not getting cancelled, so there’s no reason,” Ryan said. He barely believed himself. 

“Of course there is!” Shane’s voice raised. 

Ryan shook his head. “Shane.”

“Are you completely fucking forgetting about our audience?” 

“No!,” He blurted, “No. I mean, look...I can’t do it anymore.” 

Shane gave an exasperated look. “Why?” Before Ryan answered he added, “And tell me the truth. Not some bullshit excuse.” 

“I..” 

“You..?” 

“I can’t! Okay! I can’t,” Ryan finished. 

“Unbelievable.” Shane stormed out. 

The door slammed behind him. Ryan couldn’t control the sobs that followed. There's a lot he wants to tell him, but he can’t. He needs to figure it out first, as much as it was hurting him to let Shane be mad. They never fought like that. He had never heard Shane raise his voice, threaded with anger, the way he did. It proved what he had known from the beginning, that this was a bad idea. 

His finger hovered over Shane’s contact for a few seconds before he shut his phone off. He didn’t have anything to tell him and he didn’t want to upset him even more. 

Saturdays are usually spent with him, being alone today didn’t feel right. But he had no other choice. Besides, the only person he wants to be around right now is Shane. He has to pay his dues, suffer some loneliness, and figure out what the hell he’s going to tell Shane on Monday.

Sure, he has to tell the truth. But how? “Hey man, you know how I royally fucked up our friendship? Well, guess what? I’m in love with you!” Too much, too soon. 

He kept rehearsing. “Hey, my main man, my homeboy, my--” So much wrong he doesn’t have the energy or time to unpack it all. 

He was clueless on how to fix this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love u all forgive me for the shortness n the angsty bits


	4. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When he started to finally wrap it up everyone looks relieved. He and Shane were quiet when they stopped filming. No one moved. Tj pursed his lips. “Let’s go out for drinks, sort all this shit out over a beer or two?”
> 
> The group all gave him a strange look. Shane spoke first, “I could use a drink. What about you?” He glanced at Ryan without looking directly at him. 
> 
> “Yeah, sure,” Ryan said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u guys enjoy!  
im so fucking tired, summer break fucks my sleep schedule up so bad plusssss im starting to try to lose weight meaninggggggggggggggggggg i have to deal w everyones favorite thing H U N G E R , yh it sucks but whateva. im also exercising and stuff, today i look a long ass walk and had time to think and basically write this whole fuckin chapter dog. we stan that,

Monday was the worst. His car, who was somehow also pissed at him, decided it didn’t want to start. Ryan had woken up late and knew this would make him even later, so he called a Lyft. 

After a terrible start to the day, he went to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. He tore apart the whole kitchen and couldn’t find one hazelnut k-cup. Damn the Keurig. He gave up, deciding to face the music at his desk. But Shane wasn’t there. His computer was off, no coffee or bag insight. 

He looked around the office, spotting him at a desk behind Ryan in the far corner. Great. Shane looked up at him and went back to work. His coffee, his bag, and his headphones were at the usually empty desk. He didn’t even want to be near Ryan. 

Ryan sighed. He knew he should’ve kept his mouth shut. Shane would have to talk to him when they filmed the Postmortem, he could try and talk before then. Shane would talk when he was ready until then he had to be patient. And get some work done. 

Shane came to his desk around noon to grab his favorite pen. Not even glancing at him. This silent tension was going to kill him. He had to be down to the studio to film in twenty minutes. He had to act normal. And act like they were dating. The questions he had gathered had all been about the episode. He didn’t want to push it. 

“We have to go film. Come on,” Shane said. Already walking towards the studio. 

Ryan followed. “Shane, before we film can we talk?”

“Look, let’s just get through this. I don’t think that it’s the best idea to rehash everything before we do.” 

Ryan nodded. They sat in their chairs and got ready to start. Ryan reading over his questions and Shane staring off into space. “Alright guys, we ready?” Both nodded at TJ and Mark. 

“Good, filming in 3, 2, 1.” He pointed for Ryan to begin. 

The intro went smooth as usual, and he let Shane ask the first question. It was obvious neither were their normal, bantering, selves but no one asked why. Not until Shane started rolling his eyes instead of making jokes and Ryan stopped defending himself and his evidence. “What’s up with you two?” TJ asked. 

“Nothing, we’re fine. Can we keep filming? Get this over with?” Shane said. 

Ryan put his head down. “Yeah, we’re good.” He looked up at his friends and crew members. 

Mark had a worried expression like he was deep in thought. TJ was trying to work out a reason and solution. Devon was sitting down in a chair, trying to say anything. “It’s better if we don’t right now, ok?” They nodded. 

So filming went on. And nothing was different. Their “friendly banter” was nothing more than thinly veiled anger. Everyone in the room was uncomfortable. Especially Ryan. He wanted to run out of there or pull his hair or scream, do something. But he was stuck. A fake smile plastered on his lips, not quite reaching his eyes. Shane doing the same. 

When he started to finally wrap it up everyone looks relieved. He and Shane were quiet when they stopped filming. No one moved. Tj pursed his lips. “Let’s go out for drinks, sort all this shit out over a beer or two?”

The group all gave him a strange look. Shane spoke first, “I could use a drink. What about you?” He glanced at Ryan without looking directly at him. 

“Yeah, sure,” Ryan said. 

Everyone began filing out of the studio, leaving Ryan by himself. Well, not completely. His thoughts were keeping him company. One part of him was cursing out the other part for accepting the offer. He knew, like Friday night, it wouldn’t end in anything but an argument. He wanted to go over to TJ’s desk and back out, but he had to face tonight. 

He had been to this bar plenty of times. It had a beautiful atmosphere. Dim, with fairy lights strung everywhere, soft music and nice stools that were both sturdy and cool. 

He spotted his friends waving over to him to one of the tabletops they were at. True to his offer, everyone had a beer in hand and TJ offered to buy him one. Shane still hadn’t arrived. Ryan’s leg bounced as he waited. And when he did wander in, tight button-down and skinny jeans and all, his breath caught in his throat. It wasn’t fair. No one should look that good, and be mad at him. 

“Hey Teej,” He sat down at the stool next to Ryan. “Where’s that beer I was promised?” 

TJ handed both Ryan and Shane beers. “Right here, man. Now..care to tell us what’s up with both of you?” 

“It was just a little fight,” Shane said. 

Ryan watched as he swallowed the beer. Adam’s apple bobbing as he did. God, he was hot. He blushed at his thoughts and echoed Shane’s answer, “Yeah, we’ll be fine.” 

“What about?” 

Shane tapped a finger against the cool bottle. “Ryan here says he doesn’t want to keep ‘dating,’” He made finger quotes, “Which I think is dumb and uncalled for.” 

“We already achieved our goal, accomplished our mission, had success,” 

“I get that, I do, but that doesn’t fucking mean it won’t happen again if we suddenly stop?” Shane raised his voice. 

Ryan went quiet and sipped his beer. “I’m sorry, dude, I just..” 

The others looked on, unsure of what to do or say to help the situation. “Ryan, I think Shane might be right about the audience thing. We climbed our way off the cancellation chopping block, but that sure as hell doesn’t mean we’re ok. We just barely climbed out, and if you stop dating you’re going to screw yourself right back in that hole,” Devon said. 

“Yeah, um, yeah,” Ryan was stuck. 

He couldn’t say anything. This wasn’t the ideal moment to tell Shane he had feelings, at a bar in front of their friends. He knew what it meant if he didn’t tell him. Everything would be the same. The constant tug between knowing that the intimacy is being played up for cameras, but finding pleasure in it anyways. 

His friends left one by one. It was a Monday after all. The bar was pretty empty besides them and a few others. Shane had only moved from his side once that night to get beers. Their conversation picking up after a couple of beers. “Shane, can I tell you a,” He leaned in close to his face, “secret?” 

“Of course, little guy.” He tossed an arm around him. 

“I think I’m in love with you.” 

Shane went silent. And stiff. It was as if his body and mind didn’t know how to process what Ryan had said. He waited for him to say something. Anything. But he didn’t, he let the uncomfortable silence linger around them. “I think I’m in love with you, too.” 

He looked into Shane’s eyes. It was the first time that day that they had made direct eye contact. It felt electric. Unlike any other time, they had looked at each other. A physical marker of whatever this was beginning. He liked it. 

He felt alive. A bolt of lightning was coursing through him but instead of frying him, handing to him the one thing he’s been yearning for. Connection. It was unlike anything he had experienced before. And now that he had, he wanted more. 

This newfound hunger for a deeper connection Shane was insatiable. He felt it the whole car ride. Even as the contact on his knee relieved some of it, then walk up to his floor and the entire process of unlocking his door. But when he got it. He's addicted. 

Shane was everything he had ever wanted, and more. And he’s been in front of him the whole time. First as casual acquaintances, to best friends, to co-hosts, and now lovers. He wouldn’t change any of it. 

Ryan would live in this moment forever. Tangled up in his sheets with Shane, his body tired and sweaty, clinging to Shane despite the heat. The physical contact more important than some temporary overheating. 

He loves Shane. 

Shane loves him back. 

That’s all that matters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh what do u guys think?  
im not sure if i want to continue this!!!  
i want to but at the same time i think it would be smarter to leave this as a wrapped up little baby. idkkkk. ill figure it out and leave it as unfinished until i decide.  
all comments, kudos and bookmarks are appreciated. love everyone who reads my work!

**Author's Note:**

> should have more chapters to come, so thanks for reading. sub n bookmark so u dont miss an update! 
> 
> comments and kudos are very much so appreciated!!


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